I am really tired of people telling me that "everything happens for a reason" or "something good will come out of this." I have probably already mentioned this, but this is really a stupid thing to say to someone. First of all, I do believe in God, and I do go to church and all that. But do I really think God is up there playing this game with me? No, I do not. Do I think that if something bad happens to you, something good will follow? No, I do not. So what do I think? I think that things happen, good and bad; life goes on; and life is really what YOU make of it. Thinking there is some worldy reason for everything is a cop out. I had two unfortunate endings to an adoption case. I'm not giving up. I choose to continue down this path, stay positive, continue to get excited about each and every case (even if I do keep it to myself and the blog from now on) and know that if I stay strong and stick with it, eventually a case will work out and I will have a baby. Or a toddler. Or triplets (hey, if I'm being optimistic why not go all the way!)
So what is a good thing to say to someone? Nothing has meant more to me than the text I received from hubby's ex-wife, mother of my wonderful stepdaughters. I am very lucky that they have a great relationship, and it has transcended into a happy, functional extended family. Her text said, "I can't even imagine what you are going through nor do I even know the right words to say. Don't give up. Hang in there. I know that there is a child out there for you to love, it just hasn't found you yet. I know it's not the same, but you are a good stepmom to my girls and I love you for that." It was literally a virtual hug :-)
Sometimes, there is just no better therapy that driving home, with a great CD blasting in the stereo, playing drums on the steering wheel, and singing your heart out. Last night I left work around 9:30, which means it was dark and there was no traffic so no one enjoyed the show but me. I threw in an old CD I had made of my favorite bar songs - the ones that when the bands starts to play you grab your friends and head to the dance floor so excited because they are clearly playing it because YOU are there. By the time I got home, I was destressed from work, adoption and life. And the fact that hubby had ordered a pizza so I didn't have to cook or go hungry definitely helped.
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3 years ago